Friday. Sweet Friday. Usually my Fridays consist of not leaving the house (other than driving people to school and ball practice) and hanging out in my pajamas all day with my younger 2 children. Monday through Thursday are busy, busy, busy for us so Fridays are refreshing and definitely a catch up day. I usually do a lot of cleaning, a lot of mothering, a little resting, some snuggling, and some writing. Well, today I had to interrupt my sacred Friday tradition to go to a little place called Vanderbilt Orthopedics. I hurt my shoulder back in May. The cause isn't exactly known, but it was either a result of getting too emphatic with my dance moves at the YMCA or lobbing 40 packs of bottled water into my SUV at Costco. Either way, I went down doing something I loved. I had seemingly recovered until the last day of church camp in July when I was mopping the mess hall (not something I loved) and felt the pain suddenly return to my right shoulder. So I've been just dealing with it for 2.5 months and decided that this isn't gonna just disappear so I better get it checked out.
My dear mother-in-law agreed to come over and watch my two littles so I could make this voyage into the big city this morning, so I was trying to clean my entire house, play outside with my kids, and get ready to go to the Doctor in a 3 hour period. Piece of cake. I got the kitchen and living room clean. Good enough. Bedrooms have doors. In my frenzy to get ready while a toddler was spreading lotion and panty liners across my bathroom floor and my five year old was trying to turn on inappropriate Netflix selections in my bedroom I forgot to grab my sweater off the bathroom counter and put it into my purse. I was wearing a sleeveless shirt and jeans, because what does one wear in October in Tennessee? At 6:00 AM and 9:00 PM the temperature makes me want to cuddle under a blanket wearing a sweatshirt and fuzzy socks and drink hot chocolate. At 2:00 PM the temperature makes me want to throw on my swimsuit (and a cover up) and hang out by the pool with a cherry limeade. You have to thoroughly plan your clothing based on time of day and whether or not the places you go will still be employing the air conditioner. This choice to wear a shirt void of sleeves only works for me if I have a sweater in my bag as a safety net. So, alas, I had made an error of epic proportions (okay not really).
So, I walked into the Doctor's office and immediately realized the error of my ways. It was FREEZING in there. It was so cold that I wondered if maybe they were trying to prevent their orthopedic patients from having to ice their injuries by actually dropping their body temperatures low enough that their muscles and tendons literally froze. I sat in the waiting room talking down to myself (only in my head) for being so foolish. I thought about pulling my arms into my shirt like our kids do in preschool, but I decided that was socially unacceptable for a 34 year old woman. Then I thought "That lady at the front desk was really sweet. Maybe I could ask her for a blanket." But I realized that was unlikely to end the way that I had hoped. So, I just dealt with it. I had to wait for the Doctor for a full hour so I was there about an hour and a half. I decided that I definitely don't want to be cryogenically preserved when I leave this world. Mummify me(hey, it's October), cremate me, bury me. I don't care. I just want to be warm (but not too warm if you know what I mean). So, back to my appointment. I got a huge steroid shot in my shoulder (lovely), a diagnosis of inflamed stuff and torn stuff, and a referral for physical therapy and went on my merry way. Walking outside was sweet relief. Just as my insides started to thaw I looked down into my purse. Now, you should know this isn't a normal sized purse. It has 3 LARGE compartments. I lose things in it ALL THE TIME. It may be big enough to hide a body in (not that I've ever tried). Hey, I've got 4 kids. I need lots of space in my bag for snacks and diapers and 400 coloring sheets from church. Anyway, I look in there and what do I see? I'll give you one guess. A sweater. I had put it in there a few days back and totally forgotten it was there. I was so mad at myself. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I just froze for an hour and a half, and I had my sweater with me the entire time?! It was sitting right next to me. My salvation was within my reach the ENTIRE time.
Then, the Spirit spoke it to me tenderly as only He can, "I am the sweater in your purse." Yep. I can't even argue. How many times in any given day/week/year do I struggle and suffer through the things in this life when all along I have access to the only one who can help me. I read books, ask others for advice, self-soothe with TV or Starbucks or Ice Cream, get discouraged, give up, etc. All the while the Spirit is within me saying "You don't have to be cold. I am right here. Just open your purse and use me." When I gave my life to Christ I received the Holy Spirit. In one of the sweetest places I know in scripture Jesus says this "“All this I have spoken while still with you. But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. (John 14:25-27) And then in John 16:7 He says these words "But very truly I tell you, it is for your good that I am going away. Unless I go away, the Advocate will not come to you; but if I go, I will send Him to you." When I look through the different translations of the bible on these two verses I see that the words used for Holy Spirit are: Advocate, Counselor, Helper, Comforter, and Redeemer of the accursed. Wow. That is quite a line up. And, Jesus Himself says that we are better off with Him leaving us here because we will have this Advocate, Counselor, Helper, Comforter, and Redeemer of the Accursed." I'm sorry. What? It gets better than having Jesus by your side?! According to the Lord of Lords and King of Kings it does. So I have this power within me. I have this person who counsels me, helps me, advocates for me, comforts me and redeems me. And I'm gonna go ahead and find comfort in Ben and Jerry's? I'm gonna advocate for myself when I feel mistreated? I'm gonna ask my human friends and family for help or counsel before I ask Him? I'm gonna try to redeem all the messed up areas of my life and this world through my own strength? This is nonsensical. And yet I find myself there ALL THE TIME. I forget because I can't see Him that He is indeed there ALL THE TIME. He is waiting for me to call on Him through prayer and listening and study. He is fully equipped to lead me through EVERY SINGLE trial of this life, and I forget that He's in my purse. Prayer has never been a great strength of mine. I mean, don't get me wrong. I pray. But I pray quickly and efficiently. I squeeze it into my day. After seeing the movie the War Room last weekend (Go see it!!!) I have been trying to make a concentrated effort to spend more quality time in God's presence in prayer. I can honestly say that the days this week that I have done that I have seen a marked difference in my life and my attitude. So the power is there. We just have to draw from it. Reading helpful books, talking to a Godly friend, having some unwind time....these are all good things. They are gifts from God. However, if we go there first we are drawing water from a very shallow stream. If we drink deeply from the rivers of living water that flow from Jesus our thirst will be infinitely more satiated. This world screams "Find happiness!" and the Spirit whispers "Find Me." If we get quiet enough to listen we will hear Him. If we stop frantically searching for "happiness" we will find true fulfillment. So, please join me on this journey of learning to access the Spirit more freely. That is just what it is: a journey. And as we sojourn together, just don't be surprised if I refer to Him as "the sweater in my purse".
Very encouraging. Thank you Tara!
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