There is a fad the past few years to choose one word to focus on in the new year. I've seen lots of people declare their chosen word. I like this idea because it simplifies the whole resolution thing a bit. I mean let's be honest, how many people make a list of 20 resolutions and keep them all? I wish I could say I have the energy or strength of character to do so, but the truth is I get tired just thinking about it. So, one word. One word sounds doable. One word sounds good. But I couldn't come up with my one word. There are a whole host of amazing words that would be perfect to focus on for the year. And, well, I am just a bit indecisive at times. (Stop laughing, friends) I had almost given up on finding that one perfect, euphoric word that would change my life forever. But yesterday as I was putting away Christmas decorations and thinking about a lot of things (I am pretty much always thinking about a lot of things) my word came! It was like the Holy Spirit whispered it in my ear. EMBRACE. And instantly I knew that was it. The word kind of caught me off guard. It's not what I would have expected. But I felt utter certainty that it was THE word. So I started thinking about what that could mean for me. And here are the things I think God is asking me to EMBRACE this year.
1. Change. Well let's just start out with a doozy. I have said many times in my life that I hate change. I realize that is a ridiculous stance to take because it is the very nature of life, but alas the fact remains. When I really examine that statement, however, it isn't so much that I dislike change as it is that I like comfort. Especially in relationships. I like knowing what tomorrow and the next day will hold and knowing who will walk through them with me. I like family traditions and lifelong friendships. These things are just awesome.
This past year has brought a lot of change for our family. In May we moved back to our hometown of Kingston Springs. We bought Brian's grandparents' farm and it is just amazing. But it is change. The kids started a new school. I am head over heels for the new school, and they like it too, but it was a big change. Then came the biggest change. For 12.5 years Brian and I have been a part of a church that we adore. We joined Harpeth Hills pretty much right after we married and never looked back. We brought 4 children into that church to be "Chris-ened"(That's when our preacher Chris prays over them after they are born). We have loved and served and given and received and been blessed beyond measure by our family there. We have forged deep friendships, and that church has been woven into everything our family does for a very long time. It has had my heart. After moving we knew we would be a good 25 minute drive from our church, but we figured making the drive wouldn't be a problem. I mean, it's Nashville. Lots of people have commutes like that to church or work or both. But God started working on Brian and I in ways that we weren't expecting. For starters, I couldn't believe how instantly I fell back in love with this community that I grew up in. It is amazing, y'all. If you don't live in this community, well, you should consider moving. It is calm and quiet and the people here, well, they are what you would call "salt of the earth". This community is truly a "community" of people who "do" life together. The church where I grew up is a part of this community life. Now, some people talk about their upbringing in church in a negative way. A lot of people have baggage from legalism or any other myriad of unhealthy teachings. I am grateful to say that was not my experience. I grew up in a loving church that embraced grace and served God. It wasn't perfect (nothing is on this side of Heaven), but it was good, really good. Well, we didn't really intend to start attending said church after we moved, not because there is anything wrong with the church, but because we were so invested in "our church". We set out when we got married to have church that was neither "mine" nor "his", but rather "ours" and had succeeded at that goal. If it ain't broke, don't fix it, you know? But over the course of a few months Brian and I wrestled with feeling like God was tugging on our hearts to worship and serve in the community where we now live. We felt like He was asking us to let go of what we planned to be a part of forever and minister to the people right here. I won't bore you with all the details, but just suffice it to say there was an extreme inner struggle for a while. But we both felt strangely the same about it all. Now, we are a case study in opposites attract. Usually, if he sees it black, I see it white and vice versa. It keeps life interesting, and we balance each other out! But on this we couldn't have been more in agreement. When we finally agreed that this was what we were supposed to do and decided to do it there was such great peace. There is so much peace to be found in doing what you know God is asking you to do even when it is hard. Now, please don't misunderstand. Pegram church is an amazing place, and we already love it so much. The people there have been unbelievably welcoming and kind to our crazy family, and we are so excited about all of the things to come with our new church family. But, excitement over what one gains doesn't always extinguish grief for what one loses. And if you are a part of our Harpeth Hills family and are reading this and thinking "What?! I didn't know they left." well that's on me. Besides the fact that I didn't want to make it a big "thing", everytime I had the conversation with someone I started crying so I just stopped having it. That is a very healthy way to deal with things, right??? So yeah, change. This year, I am going to stop begrudging it and just embrace it. I will embrace God's path for me and live it fully. Because, its my word, y'all.
2. The Crazy. Do I even have to explain this one? Just read one of my other posts if you don't know what I'm talking about here. There are days when this house is so crazy that I just want to leave and go somewhere calm like Chuck E. Cheese or a prison riot. Life with 4 kids is, well, life with 4 kids. And we don't have one of those "precious" families where the kids all speak softly and obey immediately and play chess with each other on the weekends. Every.Single.One of our kids has a sufficient amount of let's call it "spunk". At times I just want them to grow up so I can be free of the crazy, but I know when they do I will miss it like, well, CRAZY. So I'm going to embrace it. Enjoy it even! Gasp!
3. My Children. It may seem like this is a repeat of point 2, but it's not. I am talking about literally embracing my children with my arms. I can't tell you how often they ask me to cuddle at night, and I say "I can't right now I have to __________." Insert any of the 100 things I have to do before I go to bed. The one who asks most often is my 10 year old boy who soon will stop asking me to cuddle with him forever. So this year, I'm gonna put off whatever else I have to do and embrace the crud out of my little spunkies. They may even have to ask me not to squeeze so hard.
4. My Husband. When you have lots of young children it is really hard to find time spend with your spouse. I know we are the only ones who struggle with this, and it is unique to our family. Haha. When you have so many people depending on you for everything they need it is hard to remember that there is another person who is depending on you too for companionship, and love, and support. I am very guilty of putting my husband last on my list because there are just too many other things that don't seem expendable. Well, this year I want to change that. Because he really should be first on my list. And I also want to embrace all the things about him that make him uniquely Brian. God made him in an amazing way, and I want to appreciate that. I think a date night once a month is step one on this goal. Who wants to babysit?!
5. My Savior. Reading over my aforementioned goals it is clear to see that I will fail at these many times over the next year. In my own strength I cannot be the caliber of person it takes to juggle my life and embrace it all. I just can't. I will get tired. I will get frustrated. I will be human. But if I EMBRACE my Savior I can embrace the rest. He will give me the strength to be the best version of myself. He will heal pain and supply confidence and give me rest. He will do all of these things and allow me to live life to the full. I know because He told me. "The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy, but I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." -John 10:10 Now that's something I can EMBRACE.
