Step 1. Teach your children that boys are strong, and girls are sweet. Make sure they don’t stray from this narrative.
Step 2. When your sons get hurt tell them not to cry. When your sons have feelings like fear or
sadness tell them those feelings are unacceptable. Make sure you use phrases like “Dry it up.”,
“Don’t be a sissy.”, “I’ll give you something to cry about.”, and “Stop acting
like a girl.” Call them “Sally” or
“Nancy”. Make sure the only emotions
they are allowed to express are joy and anger.
Suppress the sad feelings until they turn into rage. This way they will never be able to have a
healthy intimate relationship with a woman or even with themselves.
Step 3. If your daughter is a born leader, tell her not to
be bossy. Tell her to tone it down
because people don’t like a girl who takes charge. Make sure you immerse your daughters in the
princess narrative that tells them they need a man to save them. Tell them that they are responsible for any
lustful feelings a boy may have toward them.
Tell them boys will be boys, and girls should just tolerate their
inappropriate behaviors. Make sure you
put a lot of emphasis on your daughters’ appearance. Make sure she knows it is her greatest
asset. Teach her to cook but not to mow the grass.
Step 4. Teach your children a religion that tells them men
are superior to women. Tell them that
God says men are to lead and women are to follow. Tell them women are to be silent. Make it a non-negotiable of the faith. Make sure that if they question the validity
of this truth they will be shamed and told they don’t respect God’s word. Don’t let them know that the texts these
beliefs are based on are open to other interpretations and were heavily
culturally impacted. Teach your
daughters to submit to their husbands no matter how they are treated. Tell them it’s the only way to honor
God.
Step 5. Teach young husbands and wives that sex is a man’s
inalienable right and the wife owes it to him no matter what else is happening
in the relationship. Tell young wives
that their husbands will be nicer to them if they will just give them more
sex. Tell young husbands that sex is a
need rather than a desire. Tell wives it is
their job to be attractive. Tell
husbands it is their job to make money.
Step 6. Completely
minimize the impact of pornography. Make
sure you don’t talk about it openly.
Pretend it isn’t happening.
Alternately, you can admit that it is out there and pretend it is not
devastating to the male brain. Make sure
you don’t tell your sons that pornography will rob their souls and will rewire
their brains. Don’t tell them that if
they engage enough pornography, they will see women as objects and will be
unable to feel healthy emotions like empathy toward their wives. Tell them they can’t help it and that
everyone does it. Pretend that
pornography isn’t portraying disgusting acts toward women and supporting the
notion that women are nothing more than bodies there for the pleasure of men. Shrug your shoulders or giggle about it, but
DO NOT address the seriousness of it whatever you do.
Step 7. When women
tell you they have been abused, do not believe them. At a minimum, downplay what they have
experienced. Tell them that it isn’t
abuse unless there are broken bones and bloody bruises. Then tell them that even if they have been
“actually abused” they should forgive and take back their abuser if he says he
is sorry and goes to a few counseling sessions (or is counseled by church
leaders who have no qualifications as mental health professionals). After all, this is the Christian way. Call this redemption instead of
enabling. Call this honoring Christ
instead of welcoming evil. Make sure if
she wants to keep her distance from the abuser, she is made to feel unforgiving
and unloving and selfish. Don’t ask her
what life has been like for her. Just
tell her what is “right thing to do”.
Use her children as leverage for your argument if at all possible.
Your mission is complete.
